Osho - Every man is a woman
too and Every woman is a Man too
Question: Some days I feel like a
man and others like a woman. Can I be Both? Or will I grow up
Osho : Everybody is both, and you
have become aware -- that's very good; that's a great insight
into your being. Everybody is both. But up to now, the society
has been conditioned in such a way, we have been taught and
brought up in such a way, that man is man, woman is woman. This
is a very false arrangement, untrue to nature. If a man starts
crying and weeping, people start telling him, "Don't weep like a
woman, don't cry like a woman; don't be sissy." This is nonsense
-- because a man has as many tear-glands in his eye as a woman.
If nature had not meant for him to cry and weep then there would
have been no tear-glands. Now this is very repressive. If a girl
starts behaving like a man, is ambitious, aggressive -- mm? --
people start thinking that something is wrong: something
hormonal is wrong. They call her a tomboy; she is not a girl.
This is nonsense! This division is not natural; this division is
Women have been forced to play the role of women twenty-four
hours, and men have been forced to play the role of men
twenty-four hours, which is very unnatural and certainly creates
much misery in the world. There are moments when a man is soft
and should be feminine. There are moments when the husbands
should be the wife and the wife should be the husband, and this
should be very natural. And there will be more rhythm and more
harmony. If a man is not Supposed to be a man twenty-four hours,
he will be more relaxed.
And if a woman is not supposed to be twenty-four hours a woman
she will be more natural and spontaneous.
Yes, sometimes in a rage a woman becomes more dangerous than a
man, and sometimes in soft moments a man is more loving than any
woman -- and these moments go on changing. Both these climates
are yours; so don't think that you are becoming schizophrenic or
something. This duality is part of nature. A good insight has
happened to you. Don't lose it, and don't be worried that you
are going schizophrenic.
Up to the sixth, the division remains and becomes more and more
clear cut; and again and again one will feel the changing,
shifting. It is a shift: a few hours you are man, a few
hours you are woman. If you watch it exactly, you can know
exactly how many minutes you are a man and how many minutes you
are a woman. It is a periodical change. In yoga they have worked
hard on these inner secrets. If you watch your breath, that will
exactly give you the time. When one nostril, the left nostril,
is breathing you are feminine.
When the right nostril is breathing you are male. And after
near about forty-eight minutes they change. Continuously -- day,
night -- this change happens. When you are breathing by the left
nostril your right-brain hemisphere functions: the right is the
feminine part. When you are breathing from the right nostril
your left brain functions: that is the male part. And sometimes
you can play games with it.
If you are very angry then do one thing: close your right
nostril and start breathing by the left, and within seconds you
will see the anger has disappeared -- because to be angry you
need to be in the male part of your being. Try it and you will
be surprised. Just by changing the breath from one nostril to
another, something of tremendous importance changes. If you are
feeling very cold towards the world then breathe from the left
nostril and let your imagination, fantasy, warmth, flow in --
and you will suddenly feel full of warmth.
There are acts which can be done more easily when you are in the
male climate. When you are doing something hard -- carrying a
rock, pushing a rock -- check your nostril. If it is not in the
male climate it is not good. It may be dangerous for the body:
you will be very soft. When you are playing with a child, or
just sitting with your dog, feel that you are in the feminine --
more affinity will arise. When you are writing a poem or
painting or making
music you should be in the feminine... unless you are trying to
create a war music! then it is okay, you should be in the male
climate -- aggressive.
Watch it, and you will be becoming more
and more aware of these two polarities. And this is good
that these two polarities exist: that's how nature arranges for
rest. When the male part becomes tired you move to the female
part; the male part rests. When the female part is tired you
rest; you become male. And this is an inner economy -- one goes
on changing. But your society has taught you wrong things: that
a man is a man, and Has to be a man twenty-four hours -- this is
too much of a duty.
And a woman has to be a woman twenty-four hours --soft, loving,
compassionate: this is too much of a duty. Sometimes she also
wants to fight, be angry, throw things -- and this is good, if
you understand the inner play.
These two polarities are a good inner play -- the play of
consciousness. This is how God has become divided in you, to
have a play of hide-and-seek with himself. When the play is
over, when you have learnt that which is to be learnt from the
play, when the lesson has been learnt, then you pass beyond.
The ultimate stage is neither male nor female . it is neutral.
Man is deep down aware of the fact that the woman has something
which he does not have. In the first place the woman is
attractive to him, she looks beautiful. He falls in love with
the woman, the woman becomes almost an addiction to him -- and
that's where the trouble arises.
The feeling of dependence on women which every man feels, makes
him react in such a way that he tries to manage the woman as a
slave -- spiritually a slave.
He's also afraid because she is beautiful; ... she is
beautiful not only to him -- she is beautiful to whomever looks
her, to whomever comes in contact with her. Great jealousy
arises in the egoist, male chauvinist mind. He has done with
women what Machiavelli suggests to the politicians -- marriage
is politics too. Machiavelli suggests that the best way of
defense is offense, and man has used the idea for centuries --
centuries before Machiavelli recognized it as a basic fact in
all political spheres.
Wherever there is some kind of domination, offense is certainly
the best way of defense. In defense, you are already losing
ground; you have already accepted yourself as the defeated side.
You are just protecting yourself.
In this country, there are religious scriptures like manusmriti,
five-thousand years old, and they suggest that if you want to
have peace in your house, giving a good beating to the woman
once in a while is absolutely necessary. She should be kept
And that's how she has lived -- in different cultures, different
countries, but her imprisonment has been almost the same. And
because man wanted to prove himself superior....
Remember, whenever you want to prove
something that means you are not that thing. A real
superiority needs no proof, no evidence, no witness, no
argument. A real superiority is immediately recognized by
anybody who has even a small amount of intelligence. The real
superiority has its own magnetic force. Because men condemned
woman -- and they had to condemn her to keep her in control --
they reduced her almost to a subhuman
category. What fear must have led man to do this? -- because it
is sheer paranoia....
Man continuously compares and finds the woman superior. For
example, in making love to a woman, a man is very inferior
because he can have only one orgasm at a time while the woman
can have at least half a dozen, a chain -- multiple orgasm. Man
simply feels utterly helpless. He cannot give those orgasms to
the woman. And this has created one of the most miserable things
in the world: because he cannot give a multiple orgasm, he has
tried not to give her even the first orgasm. The taste of the
orgasm can create danger for him.
If the woman knows what orgasm is, she is bound to become aware
that one orgasm is not satisfying; on the contrary, she is more
thirsty. But the man is spent. So the most cunning way is not to
let the woman know that anything like orgasm exists in the
world. And because the woman has not known orgasm, you should
not think that man has been in a better position. Not giving
orgasm to the woman he has to lose his orgasm too.
Something significant has to be understood: Man's sexuality is
local, it is confined to the genitals and a sex center in the
brain. But with the woman, it is different. Her sexuality is all
over her body. Her whole body is sensitive, is erotic. Because
man's sexuality is local, it is tiny. The woman's sexuality is
something very great. Man is finished within a few seconds; the
woman is not even warmed up. Man is in such a hurry -- as if he
is doing some duty for
which he is paid and wants to finish it quickly -- making love
is the same.
Why, in fact, does man bother to make love I wonder? -- just two
or three seconds and he is finished. The woman was warming up
and the man is finished -- not that he has attained orgasm;
ejaculation is not orgasm. The man turns on his side and goes to
sleep. And the woman -- not one woman but millions of women are
crying tears after men have made love to them because they have
been left in a limbo. You have encouraged them and before they
can come to a conclusion, you are out of the game.
But this fact of the man finishing quickly has a very
significant background; that's what I have been bringing you to.
In not allowing the woman the first orgasm, he has to learn to
finish as quickly as possible. So the woman has lost something
tremendously beautiful, something sacred on the earth -- and the
man has lost. Orgasm is not the only thing in which the woman is
powerful. Everywhere in the world the woman lives five years
longer than the man; her average age is five years more than the
man's. That means she has more resistance, more stamina.
Women are sick less than men. Women, even if they are sick, heal
themselves more quickly than men. These are scientific facts.
One hundred and fifteen boys are born while one hundred girls
are born. One wonders: why
one and hundred fifteen? But nature knows better. By the time
they are marriageable, fifteen boys will have popped off! Only
one hundred boys and one hundred girls will be left. Girls don't
die easily. Women don't commit suicide as much as men; men's
suicide rate is double.
Although women talk about suicide more than men -- man
ordinarily never talks -- women make much fuss about suicide but
they always choose to survive because they don't use any drastic
methods to kill themselves. They choose the most comfortable and
most scientific and most contemporary -- sleeping pills. And
strangely enough, no woman takes so many pills that it becomes
impossible for her to be revived. So her suicide is not suicide
but a kind of protest, a threat, a blackmail to make the husband
understand that this is a warning for the future.
Everybody is condemning him -- the doctors, the neighbors, the
relatives, the police officers. He has unnecessarily become a
criminal, and everybody's sympathy is for the woman -- although
she was going to commit suicide. As far as murder is concerned,
the difference is vast. Man commits murder almost twenty
times more; a woman, very rarely. Women go mad less than men.
Again, the proportion is the same: men go mad twice as often as
And still, after all these facts established by science, the
superstition continues that man is stronger. Only in one thing
is he stronger and that is that he has a muscular body. He is a
good manual worker. Otherwise, on every point he feels -- and he
has felt for centuries -- a deep inferiority complex. To avoid
that complex, the only way is to force the woman into an
inferior position. And that is the only thing that is more
powerful in man: he can force the woman.
He is more cruel, he is more violent, and he has forced the
woman to accept an idea which is absolutely false: that she is
weak. And to prove that the woman is weak, he has to condemn all
the feminine qualities. He has to say that they are all weak,
and all those qualities together make the woman weak. In fact,
the woman has all the great qualities in her. And whenever a man
becomes awakened, he attains to the same qualities which he has
been condemning in women. The qualities that are thought to be
weak are all the feminine qualities.
And it is a strange fact that all the great qualities come into
that category. What is left are only the brutal qualities,
animal qualities. The woman is more loving. The man has not
shown greater love than the woman. Millions of women have died
-- they have jumped alive into the funeral pyre with their
beloveds because they could not conceive of a life without their
husband or friend. But don't you think it is a little weird that
in ten-thousand years not a single man has dared to jump into a
funeral pyre with his wife?
Enough time, enough opportunity... and you are stronger. The
delicate woman, the fragile woman, jumps into the funeral pyre
and the stronger Mohammed Ali goes on doing his push-ups. And he
is still stronger! Strength has many dimensions. Love has its
own strength. For example, to carry a child in the womb for nine
months needs strength, stamina, love. No man could manage it. An
artificial womb could be placed in man -- now scientific
technology has come to the point where man could have a plastic
womb implanted but I don't think he could survive nine months!
-- they are both going to jump into the ocean.
It is difficult to give life to another soul, to give a body to
another soul, to give a brain and mind to another soul. The
woman shares wholeheartedly in giving to the child whatever she
can manage. And even after the child is born, it is not easy to
bring up children. To me, it seems to be the most difficult
thing in the world. Astronauts and Edmund Hillary... these
people should first try to bring up children. Then only can we
accept that they have done something by going to Everest;
otherwise it is pointless.
Even if you have reached the moon and walked on the moon, it
does not matter. It doesn't show that you are stronger. A living
child -- so volatile, such an energy overflowing that he will
tire you within hours. Nine months in the womb and then a few
years.... Just try one night to sleep with a small baby in your
bed. During that night, in your house, something is going to
happen. Either the child will kill you or you will kill the
child. Most probably, you will kill the child, because children
are the nastiest people in the world.
They are so fresh and they want to do so
many things and you are dead tired. You want to go to
sleep, and the child is fully awake and he wants to do all kinds
of things and he wants your advice, and questions, and if
nothing works then he wants to go to the bathroom! He's feeling
thirsty. He's feeling hungry in the middle of the night...
The child sleeps the whole day. In the mother's womb he sleeps
twenty-four hours; then, slowly slowly... twenty-three,
twenty-two, twenty... but he is almost always asleep. And in the
night, he wakes up.
The whole day he will be asleep and in the night he will wake up
to torture you. I don't think there is any man who can have a
pregnancy or who can bring up children. It is the strength of
the woman. But it is a different strength. There is one strength
which is destructive, there is another strength which is
creative. There is one strength which is of hatred and there is
another strength which is of love. Love, trust, beauty,
sincerity, truthfulness, authenticity -- these are all feminine
qualities, and they are far greater than any qualities that man
But the whole past has been dominated by man and his qualities.
Naturally in war, love is of no use, truth is of no use, beauty
is of no use, aesthetic sensibility is no use. In war, you need
a heart which is more stony than stones. In war, you need simply
hate, anger, a madness to destroy. In three thousand years, man
has fought five thousand wars. Yes, this is also strength but
not worthy of human beings. This is strength derived from our
animal inheritance. It belongs to the past, which is gone, and
the feminine qualities belong to the future, which is coming.
There is no need to feel yourself weak because of your feminine
qualities. You should feel grateful to existence that what man
has to earn, you have been given by nature as a gift. Man has to
learn how to love. Man has to learn how to let the heart be the
master and the mind be just an obedient servant. Man has to
learn these things. The woman brings these things with her, but
we condemn all these qualities as weaknesses Women are women and
men are men; there is no question of comparison.
Equality is out of the question.
They are not unequal and neither can they be equal. They are
unique. Man is not in a better position than woman as far as
religious experience is concerned. But he has one quality and
that is of the warrior. Once he gets a challenge, then he can
grow any kind of qualities. Even the feminine qualities, he can
grow better than any woman can. His fighting spirit balances
things. Women have qualities inborn. Man needs only to be
provoked, given a challenge: these qualities have not been given
to you -- you have to earn them.
And if men and women both can live these qualities, the day is
not far away when we can transform this world into a paradise. I
would like the whole world to be full of feminine qualities.
Then only can wars disappear. Then only can marriage disappear.
Then only can nations disappear. Then only can we have one
world: a loving, a peaceful, a silent and beautiful world. So
drop all the conditionings man has given to you. Find your own
qualities and develop them. You are not to imitate the man;
neither is the man to imitate you. When I say he has to grow
feminine qualities, I don't mean that he has to imitate women.
Osho Articles on Women:
Osho on Woman
Osho on Nice Qualities
Osho on Qualities of the
Osho on Motherly
Qualities of woman
Osho discourse on
Osho on Special
Meditations for Women
Responsibility of being a Mother
Osho on Mother duty in Child
Osho - Woman should not try to
Osho on Pain
of Witch and Beauty of Witches
Osho on greatest need of
Osho on Difference in
Female mind and Male mind
Osho on real
differences between Men and Women
Osho on Female Creativity - Female
Woman destructive attitude during Periods
Osho discourse on Being an
Artist rather than a Mother
Osho - Whenever a Child is born, the
Mother is also Born
- Osho - Can you say
something about the mystery of Women
Difficulty in Loving Oneself - learning to love oneself
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