Motherly Qualities of woman
Question : Can you speak about the
motherly qualities of a woman?
Osho : To be a mother is sweet....
Why? Just giving birth to a child is not to be a mother,
remember. Otherwise there are millions of mothers on the earth
-- and there seems to be no sweetness. In fact, if you ask the
psychologists they will say just the opposite. They will say the
only problem to be solved is the mother. The only pathology that
millions of people are suffering from is the mother. And what
they are saying they are saying after fifty, sixty years of
constant analysis of thousands of people.
Everybody's illness basically comes to one point: that it has
been given to you, transmitted to you by your mother. There are
people who are afraid of women; and if you are afraid of women
you can't love them. How can love arise out of fear? And why are
you afraid of women? -- because your childhood was lived in fear
of your mother. She was constantly after you, she was constantly
hammering you. She was constantly telling you to do this and not
to do that -- of course, for your own good.
She has crippled you, she has destroyed many things in you. She
has made you phony because she has told you what is right to do.
Whether you like it or not, whether it is spontaneously arising
in you or not, you have to follow the order. And you were so
helpless... your survival depended on the mother so you had to
listen to her. She conditioned you. And it is because of the
fear of your mother that you are afraid of women. Millions of
husbands are henpecked for the simple reason that their mothers
were too strong.
It has nothing to do with the wife; they are simply projecting
the mother on the wife. The wife is only a new edition of the
mother. They are expecting everything from the wife that they
expected from the mother. On the one hand it cripples them; on
the other hand they start expecting things which are not
possible from the wife's side -- because she is not your mother.
So you feel frustrated. And how can you make love to your wife?
A boy who has really been dominated by the mother, who has been
reduced into absolute obedience, will not be able to make love
to a woman, because as he will come close to the woman
psychologically he will go impotent. How can you make love to
your mother? It is impossible.
Hence many people become impotent with their wives, but only
with their wives. With
the prostitutes they are not impotent. It is strange: why are
they not impotent with the
prostitute? -- for the simple reason that they can't think of
their mother as a prostitute;
that is impossible.
Their mother, and a prostitute? The
prostitute is a world apart. But
they can think of their wife as a mother, they can project the
The wife becomes simply a screen. They want the wife to take
care of them like a small
child, and if she is not taking care they feel offended.
Thousands of neurotic people and psychotic people are there in
the world because of the
mother. And Buddha says: To Be a Mother is sweet. He must mean
else. He can't mean a Jewish mother! He means not just giving
birth to a child; that does
not make one a mother.
To be motherly is a totally different
phenomenon. It is something
absolutely human; it transcends animality. It has nothing to do with biology. It is love, pure love,
When a mother loves unconditionally -- and only a mother can
love unconditionally -- the
child learns the joy of unconditional love. The child becomes
capable of loving
unconditionally. And to be able to love unconditionally is to be
And it is the easiest thing for a woman to do. It is easy for
her because naturally she is
ready for it.
She is just on the verge of transcending biology
through being a mother. You
can be motherly without giving birth to a child. You can be
motherly to anybody.
You can be motherly to an animal, to a tree. You can be motherly
to anything. It is
something inside you.
Being motherly means being capable of unconditional love, loving
the person for the
sheer joy of loving, helping the person to grow for the sheer
joy of seeing somebody
A real therapist is a mother. If he is not, he is not a real
He is only a
professional exploiting people, exploiting them because of their
But a real therapist is a mother. He becomes a womb for the
patient. He gives the patient
a new birth. He starts the life of the patient again from ABC.
He gives him a clean sheet
to write his life again.
That's what I mean when I say "the psychology of the buddhas";
that is real therapy. A
master is a real therapist; his very presence is therapeutic. He
surrounds you like a
He is a cloud who surrounds you from everywhere, from all the
sides, in all the
dimensions, like a mother.
Osho Articles on Women:
Osho on Woman
Osho on Nice Qualities
Osho on Qualities of the
Osho discourse on
Osho on Special
Meditations for Women
Responsibility of being a Mother
Osho on Mother duty in Child
Osho - Woman should not try to
Osho on Pain
of Witch and Beauty of Witches
why do you ask people to get Married
Osho on greatest need of
Osho on Female Creativity - Female
Woman destructive attitude during Periods
on Negativity in Mother Daughter Relationship
Osho discourse on Being an
Artist rather than a Mother
Osho - Whenever a Child is born, the
Mother is also Born
- Every man is
a woman too and Every woman is a Man too
Difficulty in Loving Oneself - learning to love oneself
way to help a Child grow without interfering in his natural
- Osho - Why is
the New Generation such a problem to the Parents
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