on Repressed Sex - Hate for Sex
Question: I Love my husband but I
hate Sex, and that creates conflict. Isn't sex Animalistic?
Osho : It is. But man is an animal
-- as much of an animal as any other animal. But when I say that
man is an animal, I don't mean that man finishes with animality;
he can be more than the animal, he can be less also. That is the
glory of man, the freedom and the danger, the agony and the
ecstasy. A man can be far lower than animals, and a man can be
far higher than gods. Man has infinite potentiality.
A dog is a dog: he remains a dog. He is born a dog and he will
die a dog. A man can become a Buddha, and a man can become an
Adolf Hitler too. So man is very open-ended on both sides -- he
can fall back. Can you find any animal more dangerous than man,
more mad than man? Just think of a scene: fifty thousand monkeys
sitting in a stadium killing small children -- throwing them
into a fire. What will you think about them?
Thousands of children are being thrown into a fire... A great
fire is burning just in the middle of the stadium, and fifty
thousand monkeys enjoying with joy, dancing, and children are
being thrown -- their own children. What will
you think about these monkeys? Will you not think that the
monkeys have gone mad? But this has happened in humanity. In
Carthage it happened: fifty thousand men burning children. They
burnt three hundred children at one time. as an offering to
their god. Their own children!
But forget about Carthage, it is long past. What did Adolf
Hitler do in this century'? Of course, this is a far-advanced
century, so Adolf Hitler was capable of doing greater things
than Carthage. He killed millions of Jews, thousands at a time
would be forced into a chamber and gassed. And hundreds of
people would be looking from the outside... watching through
one-way mirrors. What you will think about these people? What
type of men...? People being gassed, burnt, evaporated, and
others are watching? Can you think about animals doing such a
During three thousand years, man has been through five thousand
wars -- killing and killing and killing. And you call sex
animalistic? Animals have never done anything more 'animalistic'
than man. And you think man is not an animal? Man IS an animal.
And the idea that man is not an animal is one of the hindrances
for your growth. So you take it for granted that you are not
animals, and then you stop growing. The first recognition has to
be this: 'I am an animal and I have to be alert and and go
A man wrote to a country hotel in Ireland to ask if his dog
would be allowed to stay there.
He received the following answer: Dear Sir,
I have been in the hotel business for over thirty years. Never
yet have I had to call in the police to eject a disorderly dog
in the small hours of the morning. No dog has ever attempted to
pass off a bad cheque on me. Never has a dog set the bed-clothes
alight through smoking. I have never found a hotel towel in a
dog's suitcase. Your dog is welcome.
P.S. If he can vouch for you, you can come too!
Animals are beautiful, whatsoever they are; they are just
innocent. Man is very cunning, very calculating, very ugly. Man
can fall lower than the animals, because man can rise higher
than man higher than gods. Man has an infinite potentiality: he
can be the lowest and he can be the highest. He has the whole
ladder in his being, from the first rung to the last rung.
So the first thing I would like to say to
you: don't call sex just animalistic, because sex can be just
animalistic -- that is possible, but it need not be. It
can rise higher, it can become love, it can become prayer. It
depends on you.
Sex in itself is nothing like a fixed entity; it is just a
possibility. You can make it as you like it, as you want it.
That is the whole message of Tantra: that sex can become
Samadhi. That is the vision of Tantra: that sex can become
Samadhi, that through sex the ultimate ecstasy can enter in you.
Sex can become the bridge between you and the ultimate.
You say: I Love my husband but I hate Sex, and that creates
conflict. How can you love your husband and yet hate sex'? You
must be playing on words. How can you love your husband and hate
sex? Just try to understand it. When you love a man, you would
like to hold his hand too. When you love a man, you would like
to hug him sometimes too. When you love a man, you would not
only like to hear his sound, you would like to see his face too.
When you only hear the sound of your beloved, the beloved is far
away, the sound is not enough; when you
see him too you are more satisfied.
When you touch him, certainly you are even more satisfied. When
you taste him, certainly you are even more satisfied. What is
sex? It is just a meeting of two deep energies. You must be
carrying some taboos in your mind, inhibitions. What is sex'?
Just two persons meeting at the maximum point -- not only
holding hands, not only hugging each other's bodies, but
penetrating into each other's energy realm. Why should you hate
Your mind must have been conditioned by the Mahatmas, the
so-called 'religious' people who have poisoned the whole of
humanity, who have poisoned your very source of growth. Why
should you hate? If you love your man, you would like to share
your total being with him: there is no need to hate. And if you
hate sex, what are you saying'? You are simply saying that you
want the man to take care of you financially, to take care of
the house, to bring you a car and a fur coat. You want to use
the man... and you call it love'? And you don't want to share
anything with him.
When you love, you share all. When you love, you don't have any
secrets. When you love, you have your heart utterly open; you
are available. When you love, you are ready to go with him even
to hell if he is going to hell.
But this happens. We are very expert with words: we don't want
to say that we don't love, so we make it look as if we love and
we hate sex. Sex is not all love -- that's true, love is more
than sex -- that's true; but sex is the very foundation of it.
Yes, one day sex disappears, but to hate it is not the way to
make it disappear.
To hate it is the way to repress it. And whatsoever is repressed
will come up one way or other. Please don't try to become a monk
or a nun. Remember, sex is natural. One
can go beyond it, but not though repression. And if you
repress it, sooner or later you will find some other way to
express it; some perversion is bound to enter -- you will have
to find some substitute. And substitutes are of NO help at all;
they DON'T help, they CAN'T help.
And once a natural problem has been turned in such a way that
you have forgotten about it, and it has bubbled up somewhere
else as a substitute, you can go on fighting with the
substitute, but it is not going to help substitutes never help;
they only create perversions. obsessions. Be natural if you want
to go beyond nature some day. Be natural: that is the first
requirement. I am not saying that there is nothing more than
nature, there is a higher nature -- that is the whole message of
Tantra. But be very earthly if you really want to rise high in
Can't you see these trees? They are rooted in the earth, and the
better they are rooted the higher they go. The higher they want
to go, the deeper they will have to go into the earth. If a tree
wants to touch the stars, the tree will have to go and touch the
very hell -- that's the only way. Be rooted in your body if you
want to become a soul. Be rooted in your sex if you really want
to become a lover. Yes, the more energy is converted into love,
the less and less need of sex will be there, but you will not
Hate is not a right relationship with anything. Hate simply
shows that you are afraid. Hate simply shows that there is great
fear in you. Hate simply shows that deep down you are still
attracted. If you hate sex, then your energy will start moving
somewhere else. Energy has to move. If God gives you sexual
energy, it becomes sacred. Anything from God is sacred and
everything is from God. And by "God" I don't mean a certain
person, I mean the whole existence.
When the cuckoo starts singing, have you ever thought for what
the song is for? It is to attract a sexual partner. But nobody
condemns the cuckoo as obscene. When the flowers open and send
their fragrance, what do you think they are doing? They are
advertising that "I have come to flower; now butterflies, bees
are invited and welcome." But for what? -- because the flower
has small seeds which will go with the butterflies, with the
the same division exists in the whole existence: there are
plants which are male, and there are plants which are female.
The male plant has to send its seeds to the female plant, its
Have you seen the dance of a peacock? Do you think he is dancing
for you? And remember one thing: The beautiful tail of rainbow
colors and the dancing peacock is male. He is attracting some
female. It is only the insane humanity where the female has to
attract the male. All over nature, it is the male who attracts
the female. And for that reason, all over nature the male is
more beautiful -- because the female need not have any beauty;
just being female is enough. But strange -- man has been
standing on his head, doing shirshasana continuously.
It is the male who should be more beautiful so that a female is
attracted towards him. But religions have made a mess. To such
an extent that if you see a rich man walking with his wife, he
looks like a servant, and the wife looks nothing but an
advertisement for his riches. All the diamonds, all the
emeralds, all the rubies, all gold -- that is an advertisement
for the man. He's just a businessman; having a beautiful wife is
a business strategy so you can invite your customers to your
house for dinner, and your wife will hypnotize them with her
beauty so that you can cut their pockets!
But man has become just a servant, a businessman. His riches are
known through the wife -- his riches, his beauty, his genius has
to be kept hidden. Whenever you disturb nature and start
manufacturing your own rules, remember it is a crime --
unforgivable. Man, unless he meditates, will go crazy -- crazy
after women. And man finds meditation more difficult than the
woman. Experienced mothers who have given two, three births can
be asked before the birth and can say whether there is a girl or
a boy in their womb, because a girl remains silent, and a boy
starts playing football. He starts kicking here and there.
In meditation girls can enter deeper. On the one hand they can
go deeper in meditation; on the other hand their sexuality is
negative, it is not a compulsion on them. I was amazed in my
experience moving amongst all kinds of monks and nuns, because
no monk is really celibate, but nuns are celibate. They can
manage to be celibate; they don't have an aggressive sex, and
moreover nature has provided that every month their sex energy
goes out of their body automatically, they are clean again for
But man is in a difficulty. His sex energy can be subdued only
by deeper meditation. Then he will not go crazy.
Unless you meditate deeply, you will not be able to transcend
your sexual craziness.
The student demonstration had turned into a riot. Suddenly a man
staggered out of the crowd carrying a limp girl in his arms.
"Here," shouted a cop running up to the man, "give her to me. I
will get her out of this."
"The hell with you," replied the man, "go and find one of your
Even in a riot, when people are being killed, shot, the man's
mind remains continuously thinking of sex.
Sex is man's greatest bondage. You have to make every effort for
meditativeness, so that all your sexual energy, instead of
moving downwards, starts moving upwards. Instead of finding a
beautiful woman, start creating a beautiful man within you.
Rather than finding a graceful woman, your energy can make you
graceful. But man is more stupid than woman. The whole of
history has been made up by man, and you can see the madness: it
is a history not of mankind, but of madness, wars, rape, burning
living people, destruction.
And now they have come to the peak; perhaps Ronald Reagan will
be the last chapter of history -- although there will be no one
to read it, and perhaps no one will be able to write it even.
A married couple took their little boy to the circus. During the
gorilla act the husband had to go to the bathroom, and while he
was gone, the little boy nudged his mother and said, "What is
that long thing hanging down between the gorilla's legs?"
His mother was very embarrassed and said quickly, "Oh, that's
When the husband returned, the wife went off to buy some
popcorn, and while she was gone, the little boy nudged his
father and said, "Daddy, what is that big thing hanging down
between the gorilla's legs?"
The father smiled and said, "That son, is his penis."
The little boy looked puzzled for a moment and then said, "Then
why did mummy just say it was nothing?"
"Son," said his father proudly, "I have spoiled that woman."
Related articles in Counseling section:
Osho - Sex makes man a fool
Osho on Witnessing the Sex Act
Osho on Making Sex as
I want to Grab Girls
& Sexually enjoy
Shortcoming in Tantra Sex
Osho discourse on Repressed
Osho on difference in
Normal Sex and tantric Sex
Osho on Relationship as Living
Partners and Growth
Osho - Sex is Stupid, Sex keeps you
Sexual suppression and freedom from Sex
Lust with Awareness gives indescribable Bliss
What is your attitude
toward Sex, and Sex outside of Marriage
knows only a few sensations of the body food, Sex
It is because of a long, long
repressive society that the dirty old man exists
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