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Jiddu Krishnamurti on Love
Question: What do you mean by love ?
Obviously love is not sentiment. To be sentimental, to be emotional, is not love, because sentimentality and emotion are mere sensations. A religious person who weeps about Jesus or Krishna, about his guru or somebody else, is merely sentimental, emotional. He is indulging in sensation, which is a process of thought, and thought is not love. Thought is the result of sensation, so the person who is sentimental, who is emotional, cannot possibly know love.
Again, aren't we emotional and sentimental?
Sentimentality, emotionalism, is merely a form of self-expansion. To be
full of emotion is obviously not love, because a sentimental person can
be cruel when his sentiments are not responded to, when his feelings
have no outlet. An emotional person can be stirred to hatred, to war, to
butchery. A man who is sentimental, full of tears for his religion,
surely has no love.
So when I accumulate resentment and then deny that
resentment, which you call forgiveness, it is not love. A man who loves
obviously has no enmity and to all these things he is indifferent.
Sympathy, forgiveness, the relationship of possessiveness, jealousy and
fear - all these things are not love. They are all of the mind, are they
not? As long as the mind is the arbiter, there is no love, for the mind
arbitrates only through possessiveness and its arbitration is merely
possessiveness in different forms. The mind can only corrupt love, it
cannot give birth to love, it cannot give beauty. You can write a poem
about love, but that is not love.
Therefore where there is no respect, there is no love; where there is no mercy, no pity, no forgiveness, there is no love. And as most of us are in this state we have no love. We are neither respectful nor merciful nor generous. We are possessive, full of sentiment and emotion which can be turned either way: to kill, to butcher or to unify over some foolish, ignorant intention.
So how can there be love? You can know love only when all these things have stopped, come to an end, only when you don't possess, when you are not merely emotional with devotion to an object. Such devotion is a supplication, seeking something in a different form. A man who prays does not know love. Since you are possessive, since you seek an end, a result, through devotion, through prayer, which make you sentimental, emotional, naturally there is no love; obviously there is no love when there is no respect.
You may say that you have respect but your respect is for the superior, it is merely the respect that comes from wanting something, the respect of fear. If you really felt respect, you would be respectful to the lowest as well as to the so-called highest; since you haven't that, there is no love. How few of us are generous, forgiving, merciful! You are generous when it pays you, you are merciful when you can see something in return.
When these things disappear, when these things don't
occupy your mind and when the things of the mind don't fill your heart,
then there is love; and love alone can transform the present madness and
insanity in the world - not systems, not theories, either of the left or
of the right. You really love only when you do not possess, when you are
not envious, not greedy, when you are respectful, when you have mercy
and compassion, when you have consideration for your wife, your
children, your neighbour, your unfortunate servants.
Source: from Jiddu Krishnamurti Book "The First and last Freedom"
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