Osho Mulla Nasrudin Jokes
- ”What was the argument between you and
your father-in-law, Nasrudin?” asked a friend. ”I didn’t mind, when
he wore my hat, coat, shoes and suit, BUT WHEN HE SAT DOWN AT THE
DINNER TABLE AND LAUGHED AT ME WITH MY OWN TEETH – THAT WAS TOO
MUCH,” said Mulla Nasrudin.
- Mulla Nasrudin’s wife was forever trying
to curb his habit of swearing. One day, while shaving, the Mulla
nicked his chin, and promptly launched into his most colourful array
of cuss words. His wife thereupon repeated it all after him, hoping
that her action in doing so would shame him into reforming at last.
But instead, the Mulla waited for her to finish them with a familiar
twinkle in his eyes said: ”YOU HAVE THE WORDS ALL RIGHT, MY DEAR,
BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THE TUNE.”
- A young bachelor, frequenting the pub
quite often, was in the habit of singing laurels of his bachelorhood
to all within hearing distance.
He was quite cured of his self-centered, eccentric ideals, when
once, Mulla Nasrudin got up calmly from the table, gave the hero a
paternal thump on the back and remarked, ”I SUPPOSE, YOUNG CHAP,
YOUR FATHER MUST HAVE BEEN A BACHELOR TOO.”
- The minister was congratulating Mulla
Nasrudin on his 40th wedding anniversary. ”It requires a lot of
patience, tolerance, and understanding to live with the same woman
for 40 years,” he said. ”THANK YOU,” said Nasrudin, ”BUT SHE’S NOT
THE SAMEWOMAN SHEWAS WHENWE WERE FIRST MARRIED.”
- The audience was questioning Mulla
Nasrudin who had just spoken on big game hunting in Africa. ”Is it
true,” asked one, ”that wild beasts in the jungle won’t harm you if
you carry a torch?”
”THAT ALL DEPENDS,” said Nasrudin ”ON HOW FAST YOU CARRY IT.”
- ”Have I not shaved you before, Sir?” the
barber asked Mulla Nasrudin.
”NO,” said Nasrudin, ”I GOT THAT SCAR DURING THE WAR.”
Mulla Nasrudin who was reeling drunk was
getting into his automobile when a policeman came up and asked
”You’re not going to drive that car, are you?”
”CERTAINLY I AM GOING TO DRIVE,” said Nasrudin. ”ANYBODY CAN SEE I
AM IN NO
CONDITION TO WALK.”
- Mulla Nasrudin and his wife on a safari
cornered a lion. But the lion fooled them; instead of standing his
ground and fighting, the lion took to his heels and escaped into the
Mulla Nasrudin terrified very much, was finally asked to stammer out
to his wife, ”YOU GO AHEAD AND SEE WHERE THE LION HAS GONE, AND I
WILL TRACE BACK AND SEE WHERE HE CAME FROM.”
- ”Mulla, did your father leave much money
when he died?”
”NO,” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”NOT A CENT. IT WAS THIS WAY. HE LO ST
HIS HEALTH GETTING WEALTHY, THEN HE LOST HIS WEALTH TRYING TO GET
- Mulla Nasrudin, a mental patient, was
chatting with the new superintendent at the state hospital. ”We like
you a lot better than we did the last doctor,” he said.
The new superintendent was obviously pleased. ”And would you mind
telling me why?” he asked.
”OH, SOMEHOW YOU JUST SEEM SO MUCH MORE LIKE ONE OF US,” said
Mulla Nasrudin used to say:
”It is easy to understand the truth of the recent report that says that
the children of today cry more
and behave worse than the children of a generation ago.
Because those were
not children – they were us.”
the best way to teach a girl to swim?” a friend asked Mulla Nasrudin.
”First you put your left arm around her waist,” said the Mulla. ”Then
you gently take her left hand and...”
”She’s my sister,” interrupted the friend.
”Oh, then push her off the dock,” said Nasrudin.
Nasrudin said to his girlfriend. ”What do you say we do something
different tonight, for a change?”
”O.K.,” she said. ”What do you suggest?”
”You try to kiss me,” said Nasrudin, ”and I will slap your face!”
you want with your old letters?” the girl asked her ex-boyfriend, Mulla
Nasrudin. ”I have
given you back your ring. Do you think I am going to use your letters to
sue you or something?”
”Oh, No,” said Nasrudin, ”it’s not that. I paid a fellow twenty-five
dollars to write Them for me and I may want to use them over again.”
”What made you quarrel with
”Well, he proposed to me again last night.”
”Where was the harm in it?”
”My dear, i had accepted him the night before.”
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