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Question: Beloved Master, When do
I know if my sexual energy is transformed or just
repressed?
Osho:
It will not be difficult. It will
be the simplest thing to know. When sexual energy is
repressed you will have sexual dreams, you will have
sexual fantasies -- you cannot avoid them. When sex
energy is transformed, you will not have any sexual
dreams, you will not have any sexual fantasies. This is
the simple criterion.
I will end with a small story....
In Gautam Buddha's time there was one beautiful
woman -- she was a prostitute, Amrapali. One Buddhist
monk was just going to beg when Amrapali saw him. She
was simply amazed because kings have been at her door,
princes, rich people, famous people from all walks of
life. But she had never seen such a beautiful person --
and he was a monk, a beggar with a begging bowl. She was
going on her golden chariot to her garden. She told the
bhikkhu, "If you don't mind, you can sit with me on the
chariot and I will lead you wherever you want."
She was not thinking
that the bhikkhu would be ready to do it, because it was
known that Buddha did not allow his bhikkhus to talk to
women, or to touch any woman. And to ask him to sit on a
golden chariot in the open street where there were
thousands of people, hundreds of other bhikkhus, other
monks...She was not hoping that he would accept the
invitation, but he said, "That's good," and he climbed
on the chariot and sat by her side. It was a scene. She
was one of the wealthiest women the world had known.
The world knows only two women -- one in the West,
Cleopatra, and one in the East, Amrapali -- who are
thought to be the world's most beautiful women. And a
bhikkhu with a begging bowl...!A crowd was following the
chariot, "What is going on there? Nobody has ever
heard..."
And then the bhikkhu said, "My camp has come. Thank you
for your being so kind to a poor man. You can drop me
here."
But Amrapali said,
"From tomorrow, the rainy season is going to be here."
In the rainy season the bhikkhus, the monks, don't move.
They stay in one place -- only for the rainy season. The
remaining months they are always on the move from one
village to another village. "From tomorrow, the rainy
season is going to begin. I invite you to stay with me.
You can ask your master."
He said, "Jolly
good, I will ask the master. And I don't see that he
will object, because I know him -- he knows me, and he
knows me more than I know him".
But before he reached, many others had reached and
complained that the man had broken the discipline, the
prestige, the respectability... that the man should be
expelled immediately.
The bhikkhu came -- Buddha asked him, "What happened?"
He told the whole
thing and he said, "The woman has asked me to stay with
her for the coming four months' rainy season. And I have
said to her, `As I know my master I don't think there is
any problem, and my master knows me better than I know
him.' So what do you say?"
There were ten thousand monks, and there was pindrop
silence. Gautam Buddha said, "You can accept her
invitation."
It was a shock.
People were thinking he would be expelled, and he was
being rewarded! But what could they do. They said, "Just
wait. After four months Buddha will see that he has
committed a grave mistake. That young man will be
corrupted in that place, in a prostitute's house. Have
you ever heard of a monk staying for four months...?"
The man stayed for
four months, and every day rumors were coming that "this
is going wrong" and "that is going wrong." And Buddha
said, "Just wait, let him come. I know he is a man who
can be trusted. Whatever happens he will tell himself. I
don't have to depend on rumors."
And when the monk came, Amrapali was with him. He
touched Buddha's feet and said, "Amrapali wants to be
initiated."
Buddha said, "Look,
about all these rumors... When a real meditator goes to
a prostitute, the prostitute has to change into a
meditator. When a repressed person who has all the
sexuality and is sitting on a volcano goes to a
prostitute, he falls down. He was already waiting for it
-- not even a prostitute was needed. Any woman would
have done that."
The question is
saying that all the religions have taught you to repress
your sexual energy, and they have created repressed
people all around. And those repressed people are very
angry with me for the simple reason that I am saying
repression is not going to help you.The energy has to be
transformed, otherwise the energy will drag you down
more into darkness than towards light.
Do
not repress anything.
Whatever is natural is good. Whatever is natural is to
be accepted with totality. You have to do just one
thing: don't be against nature but just be a watcher.
Just remain a witness in everything, whether it is
eating, whether it is walking, whether it is making
love... just remain a witness and you will be surprised.
Witnessing is an absolute guarantee of transformation,
and you will see the difference. You won't have any
sexual dreams, you won't have any sexual fantasies. And
if you repress, then you are going to be in trouble.
Even Mahatma Gandhi, who was repressing his sexuality,
at the age of seventy years was having nocturnal
emissions. It is ugly. But I am grateful to him because
he was truthful. He at least accepted it. Your so-called
saints will not accept it. Repression will show itself
-- there is no doubt about it. Some day or other it will
bring sex to your mind, either waking or sleeping.
But if the energy is transformed then you will have a
radiance, a glow, a certain light around you, a certain
silence surrounding you; a blissfulness, a coolness that
not only you will feel but those who are open also will
feel. If you just pass by their side they will feel that
not only a person has passed but a phenomenon has
passed. Something of your inner core will have touched
them. Some music is bound to be heard by those who have
ears. And as far as you are concerned there is an
absolute distinction: you won't have any ideas, waking
or sleeping, about sex.
Source: from book
"The Sword and the Lotus" by Osho
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