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Questioner:
The memory of my wonderful experiences haunts me. I want
them back.
Maharaj:
Because you want them back, you cannot have them. The
state of craving for anything blocks all deeper
experience. Nothing of value can happen to a mind which
knows exactly what it wants. For nothing the mind can
visualise and want is of much value.
Questioner:
Then what is worth wanting?
Maharaj:
Want the best. The highest happiness, the greatest
freedom. Desirelessness is the highest bliss.
Questioner:
Freedom from desire is not the freedom I want. I want
the freedom to fulfill my longings.
Maharaj:
You
are free to fulfill your longings. As a matter of fact,
you are doing nothing else.
Questioner:
I
try, but there are obstacles which leave me frustrated.
Maharaj:
Overcome
them.
Questioner:
I
cannot, I am too weak.
Maharaj:
What
makes you weak? What is weakness? Others fulfil their
desires, why don't you?
Questioner:
I
must be lacking energy.
Maharaj:
What happened to your energy? Where did it go? Did you
not scatter it over so many contradictory desires and
pursuits? You don't have an infinite supply of energy.
Questioner:
Why
not?
Maharaj:
Your aims are small and low. They do not call for more.
Only God's energy is infinite -- because He wants
nothing for Himself. Be like Him and all your desires
will be fulfilled. The higher your aims and vaster your
desires, the more energy you will have for their
fulfilment. Desire the good of all and the universe will
work with you. But if you want your own pleasure, you
must earn it the hard way.
Before desiring, deserve.
Questioner:
I
am engaged in the study of philosophy, sociology and
education. I think more mental development is needed
before I can dream of self-realisation. Am I on the
right track?
Maharaj:
To
earn a livelihood some specialised knowledge is needed.
General knowledge develops the mind, no doubt. But if
you are going to spend your life in amassing knowledge,
you build a wall round yourself. To go beyond the mind,
a wellfurnished mind is not needed.
Questioner:
Then
what is needed?
Maharaj:
Distrust your mind, and go beyond.
Questioner:
What
shall I find beyond the mind?
Maharaj:
The direct experience of being, knowing and loving.
Questioner:
How
does one go beyond the mind?
Maharaj:
There are many starting points -- they all lead to the
same goal. You may begin with selfless work, abandoning
the fruits of action; you may then give up thinking and
end in giving up all desires. Here, giving up (tyaga)
is the operational factor. Or, you may not bother about
any thing you want, or think, or do and just stay put in
the thought and feeling 'I am', focussing 'I am' firmly
in your mind. All kinds of experience may come to you --
remain unmoved in the knowledge that all perceivable is
transient, and only the 'I am' endures.
Questioner:
I
cannot give all my life to such practices. I have my
duties to attend to.
Maharaj:
By
all means attend to your duties. Action, in which you
are not emotionally involved and which is beneficial and
does not cause suffering will not bind you. You may be
engaged in several directions and work with enormous
zest, yet remain inwardly free and quiet, with a
mirror-like mind, which reflects all, without being
affected.
Questioner:
Is
such a state realisable?
Maharaj:
I
would not talk about it, if it were not. Why should I
engage in fancies?
Questioner:
Everybody
quotes scriptures.
Maharaj:
Those who know only scriptures know nothing. To know is
to be. I know what I am talking about; it is not from
reading, or hearsay.
Questioner:
I
am studying Sanskrit under a professor, but really I am
only reading scriptures. I am in search of self-realisation
and I came to get the needed guidance. Kindly tell me
what am I to do?
Maharaj:
Since you have read the scriptures, why do you ask me?
Questioner:
The
scriptures show the general directions but the
individual needs personal instructions.
Maharaj:
Your own self is your ultimate teacher (sadguru).
The outer teacher (Guru) is merely a milestone. It is
only your inner teacher, that will walk with you to the
goal, for he is the goal.
Questioner:
The
inner teacher is not easily reached.
Maharaj:
Since he is in you and with you, the difficulty cannot
be serious. Look within, and you will find him.
Questioner:
When
I look within, I find sensations and perceptions,
thoughts and feelings, desires and fears, memories and
expectations. I am immersed in this cloud and see
nothing else.
Maharaj:
That which sees all this, and the nothing too, is the
inner teacher. He alone is, all else only appears to be.
He is your own self (swarupa), your hope and
assurance of freedom; find him and cling to him and you
will be saved and safe.
Questioner:
I
do believe you, but when it comes to the actual finding
of this inner self, I find it escapes me.
Maharaj:
The idea 'it escapes me', where does it arise?
Questioner:
In
the mind.
Maharaj:
And who knows the mind.
Questioner:
The
witness of the mind knows the mind.
Maharaj:
Did anybody come to you and say: 'I am the witness of
your mind'?
Questioner:
Of
course not. He would have been just another idea in the
mind.
Maharaj:
Then who is the witness?
Questioner:
I
am.
Maharaj:
So, you know the witness because you are the witness.
You need not see the witness in front of you. Here
again, to be is to know.
Questioner:
Yes,
I see that I am the witness, the awareness itself. But
in which way does it profit me?
Maharaj:
What a question! What kind of profit do you expect? To
know what you are, is it not good enough?
Questioner:
What
are the uses of self-knowledge?
Maharaj:
It
helps you to understand what you are not and keeps you
free from false ideas, desires and actions.
Questioner:
If
I am the witness only, what do right and wrong matter?
Maharaj:
What helps you to know yourself is right. What prevents,
is wrong. To know one's real self is bliss, to forget --
is sorrow.
Questioner:
Is
the witness-consciousness the real Self?
Maharaj:
It
is the reflection of the real in the mind (buddhi).
The real is beyond. The witness is the door through
which you pass beyond.
Questioner:
What
is the purpose of meditation?
Maharaj:
Seeing the false as the false, is meditation. This must
go on all the time.
Questioner:
We
are told to meditate regularly.
Maharaj:
Deliberate daily exercise in discrimination between the
true and the false and renunciation of the false is
meditation. There are many kinds of meditation to begin
with, but they all merge finally into one.
Questioner:
Please
tell me which road to self-realisation is the shortest.
Maharaj:
No
way is short or long, but some people are more in
earnest and some are less. I can tell you about myself.
I was a simple man, but I trusted my Guru. What he told
me to do, I did. He told me to concentrate on 'I am' --
I did. He told me that I am beyond all perceivables and
conceivables -- I believed. I gave him my heart and
soul, my entire attention and the whole of my spare time
(I had to work to keep my family alive). As a result of
faith and earnest application, I realised my self (swarupa)
within three years.
You may choose any way that suits you; your earnestness
will determine the rate of progress.
Questioner:
No
hint for me?
Maharaj:
Establish yourself firmly in the awareness of 'I am'.
This is the beginning and also the end of all endeavour.
Source: from book “I am That” By
Sri Nisargadatta
Maharaj
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Nisargadatta Maharaj"
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